“Clint's Carmel”

Posted: 20 Aug 2010 05:53 PM PDT

I had a colleague who lived in Carmel-by-the-Sea, Calif., years ago when her husband was transferred there. She said the name with wistful breathlessness and rolled her eyes heavenward at the memory: "Carmel."

This sleepy village of just a few thousand (mostly millionaires), with its proximity to the ocean, Big Sur and Clint Eastwood's personal B&B, meant I couldn't pass it up on a recent trip to the state's Bay area. My guidebook told me it was the Californian version of New York's Hamptons. Well, then.

My husband and I visited this spring to drive the dramatic oceanside Highway 1 just to the south of Carmel, known as Big Sur.

Located about two hours south of San Francisco on the southern bend of the Monterey Peninsula, the tiny village has no street numbers, parking meters or street lights, and no sidewalks outside of the "downtown" centred around Ocean Avenue. Residents must go to the central post office to retrieve their mail, and houses -- many of them small hobbit-like cottages -- are identified by either quaint names such as "Doll House" or "Sea Urchin," or the more modern way, for example, "Lincoln Street, 4SE of 13th Avenue."

The village keeps itself quaint by forbidding any chain stores or restaurants. But it allows high-end boutiques such as Louis Vuitton and Tiffany, to give you an idea of the residents. There also appear to be far too many jewelry stores and art galleries to support the population. Mainly, the streets were full of tourists, either day-trippers or people renting oceanside cottages.

If you tire of shopping, Ocean Avenue ends at Highway 1 at the east end, and a beautiful public beach on the Pacific Ocean to the west. But it's quite a quiet town with not too much to do. We planned on turning in early, as Carmel is not known for its nightlife, to put it mildly. A nice break from the late nights we had in San Fran's North Beach area.

Luckily, Eastwood's Mission Ranch had an official address, so we found it easily. But then, Eastwood was mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea from 1986 to 1988, so I suppose he can do whatever he wants.

Eastwood acquired the ranch, complete with a herd of sheep and several cozy cottages in 1986 to save the property from condo development.

We happened to arrive in Carmel the day after Eastwood's 80th birthday. At dinner at the ranch's well-known restaurant, we overheard the table next to us discussing how servers brought out cake and sang happy birthday the night before, but Eastwood never showed up. He doesn't live on the property, our waiter informed us, but has a home just down the street, and shows up on the ranch often.

I got the feeling we were surrounded by "somebodies" at dinner. My husband swore a man at table next to us was a pro golfer and people kept approaching and chatting up a Barbie- and Ken-look-alike couple to the other side of us.

Then, while enjoying my fettuccini on the patio, The Man With No Name appeared. He breezed by the unfazed dining guests and walked the short distance to the sheep field. He then hopped a fence to herd the sheep into their pens, tossing a bale of hay or two and chatting with the property manager.

Then he came back to the restaurant, got in his minivan and left. Famous people -- they're just like us.

Still slightly stunned from witnessing Eastwood's sheep wrangling, we went inside to the lounge and sat at the bar, where a piano player performed a kind of high-class karaoke with people gathered around singing tunes. (The night gets a little hazy from here.)

Now, to say a town where the average cottage is a cool $2 million and street numbers are not allowed produces some interesting characters is a bit of an understatement. Perhaps the fact that we were the only ones under 31 made us stand out as tourists, but we had no trouble making friends.

"These guys are fiercely competitive," a local regular to my right informed me, motioning towards the karaoke singer. Moments later, he challenged me to try his favourite Scotch after noting my girlie glass of Glenfiddich on ice. ("Oh, you don't take it neat?") Of course, I met this challenge.

Meanwhile, to my left, a dead ringer for Dennis Hopper circa Apocalypse Now praised my husband for Canada's treatment of its war veterans. He had heard of the Highway of Heroes and wished the U.S. had something similar. He threw his arm around my husband like a long-lost son for most of the night.

Somewhere beyond 1 a.m., I noticed that some people in these parts clearly don't have to get up for work on a Wednesday. My new friend said something vague about being in the construction industry. Hmm.

The next morning, I cursed his name. But even if I wanted to thank him, I would never be able to; he doesn't have a street address to look up.

IF YOU GO:

We took a shuttle from San Francisco International Airport to Monterey Airport, where we picked up our rental car. (There are no car rental services in Carmel-by-the-Sea). Carmel is a 10-minute drive from the Monterey Airport. Book the shuttle in advance for $45 each way at www.montereyairbus.com.

Mission Ranch Lodging and Restaurant is located at 26270 Dolores Street, Carmel-by-the-Sea, Calif. 1-800-538-8221 or www.missionranchcarmel.com. Rooms range from $120 to $285. Guests of the ranch are able to book tables at the restaurant one hour in advance. For those not staying at the ranch, it's first come, first served.

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